Sunday, March 28, 2010
Saturday, March 27, 2010
This Weeks Lessons
First, our hot water heater quit working. I love hot water. I take hot water for granted. Lesson learned: do not take anything for granted.
Second, our internet quit working. I enjoy surfing the web. I rely on the internet alot. Lesson learned: Jesus is the only reliable Source.
Third, we got some upsetting news. I am too far away to help. I want to control the situation. Lesson learned: I am not in control.
Jesus... thank You for this day that is a gift to use wisely and not to take for granted. Thank You that You will never stop working in me. Thank You for Your faithful guidance. You are in control... and I will trust You.
Second, our internet quit working. I enjoy surfing the web. I rely on the internet alot. Lesson learned: Jesus is the only reliable Source.
Third, we got some upsetting news. I am too far away to help. I want to control the situation. Lesson learned: I am not in control.
Jesus... thank You for this day that is a gift to use wisely and not to take for granted. Thank You that You will never stop working in me. Thank You for Your faithful guidance. You are in control... and I will trust You.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Physcho
... that's what I am today.
I think it all started because of the buzz in blog land of the good news in Ug*nda regarding the Visa issue. The news that the "guy in charge" had approved the judges to write the rulings with the wording that the US requires. I even received an e-mail from my attorney with encouraging news that a "solution had been reached" and "they are working out the details". Oh! how exciting!
Then it happened... opposition. Of course. But now it looks like it's coming from the US side of things. The enemy is really working here.
The up and down, back and forth, messes with me. Some days more than others. Today is one of those days... and I'm being physcho.
Although I have a list a mile long of things that I should be accomplishing... I am being physcho. Which means... I am not accomplishing anything. Not the laundry. Not the photos I need to edit and prepare to print. Not touching up the paint. Not finishing the major clean out of my closet. Not gathering clothes to take with us when we FINALLY get an e-mail telling us to come get our children. Nothing... naughta... zilch.
When I'm physcho... I don't know what to do with myself.... so I end up doing nothing. And to make this picture very clear to you (just keeping it real)... I have not so interesting conversations with myself about how I should get busy. I tell myself to get over it. To go pray. To go play with my children. To accomplish one thing on my list. To just DO something.
Today... it's not working.
Just so you know.
I think it all started because of the buzz in blog land of the good news in Ug*nda regarding the Visa issue. The news that the "guy in charge" had approved the judges to write the rulings with the wording that the US requires. I even received an e-mail from my attorney with encouraging news that a "solution had been reached" and "they are working out the details". Oh! how exciting!
Then it happened... opposition. Of course. But now it looks like it's coming from the US side of things. The enemy is really working here.
The up and down, back and forth, messes with me. Some days more than others. Today is one of those days... and I'm being physcho.
Although I have a list a mile long of things that I should be accomplishing... I am being physcho. Which means... I am not accomplishing anything. Not the laundry. Not the photos I need to edit and prepare to print. Not touching up the paint. Not finishing the major clean out of my closet. Not gathering clothes to take with us when we FINALLY get an e-mail telling us to come get our children. Nothing... naughta... zilch.
When I'm physcho... I don't know what to do with myself.... so I end up doing nothing. And to make this picture very clear to you (just keeping it real)... I have not so interesting conversations with myself about how I should get busy. I tell myself to get over it. To go pray. To go play with my children. To accomplish one thing on my list. To just DO something.
Today... it's not working.
Just so you know.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Twelve Years
It's hard to believe it was twelve years ago, today, that I lay in a hospital bed to deliver our son, Timothy. We had known for several months that his little heart was not formed correctly. We had spent those months praying... hoping.
I remember the sonogram that we had done that revealed a problem. I remember lying there watching the technician's face and the gut wrenching feeling that overcame me that something must be wrong, even though she tried to conceal it. I remember being quickly ushered into a "specialist" office to have another sonogram performed with a high-tech machine and although neither Gary or I voiced it, we were scared.
Gary and I had never wanted to know the gender of our babies. We only had a sonogram done because our insurance was going to pay for it. We liked to see that baby was healthy, but we liked waiting until we delivered to know whether or not we were having a boy or girl. We were convinced we were having another girl... the odds stacked up that way. We had four girls and two boys when we got pregnant with this child.
We sat in silence as we waited for the special technican to measure and capture different images. I tried so hard to see what she was seeing... I wanted to know what was wrong. When she was finished, she walked quietly out of the room without saying a word. We waited for the doctor.
When the specialist came in, I remember thinking to myself that his hair was too long. He looked like a hippy. How could he be a specialist? And his hands were cold. It was a brief distraction from the weight of the moment.
The specialist told us that our baby's heart was not formed correctly. He showed us by all sorts of high-tech images how the blood did not flow correctly... etc. etc. ... and then he said... "Your baby will not survive."
I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think. I wanted to leave. I wanted to run away from there. The tears came quietly... along with a deafening silence. There were no words to say. No thoughts that were still long enough to put into articulate phrases. Just silence.
When the doctor asked us if we wanted to know the gender of our baby, Gary and I agreed, yes, we wanted to know this time. The doctor said, "It's a boy." We were having a boy. A son.
When we got home, we gathered up our children to tell them the news. I remember looking at their precious faces... they were so little, so young. The tears started quietly down my cheeks. They just sat quietly watching me and their daddy. They knew something was wrong. After talking to them... we hoped.... we prayed. Please Lord...
I remember being renewed with hope. Just because a doctor told us something was going to happen didn't mean it actually would happen. We served a mighty God and we would put our hope and trust in Him. He can do all things.
Over the next several months I was hopeful that our son would survive until term and then the doctors would be able to perform surgery and correct the problem. Each time we went to see the specialist it seemed as if he were surprised that our son was still living.
I remember going to a Valentine's banquet at our church and as we were sitting waiting for our dinner, I excitedly told Gary that our son must be growing stronger because he was kicking so hard! I hoped. I prayed. Please Lord...
About three weeks after the banquet... I no longer felt movement. I would sit or lie so still... waiting for movement... hoping... praying... Please Lord...
On March 13th, after having been admitted to the hospital the night before and given medication to induce labor, our son, Timothy Paul Sargent slipped silently into this world. There were no newborn cries. There was no joy filled celebration. There was only silence. And the tears quietly fell as Gary and I held our son.
We are only able to remember this day with hope because of the hope we have in Jesus Christ. We celebrate Timothy because we know that he is rocking in the arms of Jesus, as our sweet friend wrote in a song for us. We know that we will see him again. We are thankful for our time with him because through that difficult time our heavenly Father held us close. He strengthened us. He renewed our hope and we were able to feel His presence like never before. Our God is good to us all the time. Thank you, Father, for our son Timothy.
Timothy, my precious son, I think of you always. I wish you were here with us. I long to hold you. I wish I could see your face and look into your baby blue eyes and tell you how much I love you. I think you might have looked just like your big brother, who has so many times expressed how he wishes you were here with him in this house full of girls. Your brother has longed for you in a way that breaks my heart. I know you are in a better place, my sweet baby boy. I know we will be with you some day, my little bear. Happy Birth day. I love you. Mommy
I remember the sonogram that we had done that revealed a problem. I remember lying there watching the technician's face and the gut wrenching feeling that overcame me that something must be wrong, even though she tried to conceal it. I remember being quickly ushered into a "specialist" office to have another sonogram performed with a high-tech machine and although neither Gary or I voiced it, we were scared.
Gary and I had never wanted to know the gender of our babies. We only had a sonogram done because our insurance was going to pay for it. We liked to see that baby was healthy, but we liked waiting until we delivered to know whether or not we were having a boy or girl. We were convinced we were having another girl... the odds stacked up that way. We had four girls and two boys when we got pregnant with this child.
We sat in silence as we waited for the special technican to measure and capture different images. I tried so hard to see what she was seeing... I wanted to know what was wrong. When she was finished, she walked quietly out of the room without saying a word. We waited for the doctor.
When the specialist came in, I remember thinking to myself that his hair was too long. He looked like a hippy. How could he be a specialist? And his hands were cold. It was a brief distraction from the weight of the moment.
The specialist told us that our baby's heart was not formed correctly. He showed us by all sorts of high-tech images how the blood did not flow correctly... etc. etc. ... and then he said... "Your baby will not survive."
I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think. I wanted to leave. I wanted to run away from there. The tears came quietly... along with a deafening silence. There were no words to say. No thoughts that were still long enough to put into articulate phrases. Just silence.
When the doctor asked us if we wanted to know the gender of our baby, Gary and I agreed, yes, we wanted to know this time. The doctor said, "It's a boy." We were having a boy. A son.
When we got home, we gathered up our children to tell them the news. I remember looking at their precious faces... they were so little, so young. The tears started quietly down my cheeks. They just sat quietly watching me and their daddy. They knew something was wrong. After talking to them... we hoped.... we prayed. Please Lord...
I remember being renewed with hope. Just because a doctor told us something was going to happen didn't mean it actually would happen. We served a mighty God and we would put our hope and trust in Him. He can do all things.
Over the next several months I was hopeful that our son would survive until term and then the doctors would be able to perform surgery and correct the problem. Each time we went to see the specialist it seemed as if he were surprised that our son was still living.
I remember going to a Valentine's banquet at our church and as we were sitting waiting for our dinner, I excitedly told Gary that our son must be growing stronger because he was kicking so hard! I hoped. I prayed. Please Lord...
About three weeks after the banquet... I no longer felt movement. I would sit or lie so still... waiting for movement... hoping... praying... Please Lord...
On March 13th, after having been admitted to the hospital the night before and given medication to induce labor, our son, Timothy Paul Sargent slipped silently into this world. There were no newborn cries. There was no joy filled celebration. There was only silence. And the tears quietly fell as Gary and I held our son.
We are only able to remember this day with hope because of the hope we have in Jesus Christ. We celebrate Timothy because we know that he is rocking in the arms of Jesus, as our sweet friend wrote in a song for us. We know that we will see him again. We are thankful for our time with him because through that difficult time our heavenly Father held us close. He strengthened us. He renewed our hope and we were able to feel His presence like never before. Our God is good to us all the time. Thank you, Father, for our son Timothy.
Timothy, my precious son, I think of you always. I wish you were here with us. I long to hold you. I wish I could see your face and look into your baby blue eyes and tell you how much I love you. I think you might have looked just like your big brother, who has so many times expressed how he wishes you were here with him in this house full of girls. Your brother has longed for you in a way that breaks my heart. I know you are in a better place, my sweet baby boy. I know we will be with you some day, my little bear. Happy Birth day. I love you. Mommy
Friday, March 12, 2010
Do Your Part
Statements like... "We can't do everything."... "We can't help everyone."... "The problem is just too big."... "I'm sure someone else will take care of it." ...are clear indicators that we have started believing the LIE that our "part" is too small to really make a difference.
I think this thought pattern has given us an excuse to do nothing. I think we decide the issue is too big OR we think that since we can't help everyone, we might as well not help anyone. And then we go to Starbucks.
The truth is that IF we all do a little... THEN a lot gets done. Simply put... Do YOUR part.
We can't worry about what someone else is doing. We can't measure what our part is by someone else's measuring stick. We can't sit on the sidelines and believe that cheering is actually making a difference in the game.
We must DO our part.
Whether it be that we...
Sponsor a child or adopt a child. Buy a t-shirt to help bring an orphan home. Buy note cards to help an adopting family cover expenses. Buy gifts that will feed an orphan. Donate for a water well to be drilled. Give to help earthquake victims.
There are many, many ways that a small part... YOUR PART... added to all the other parts adds up and makes a difference!
We have got to stop thinking that the issue is too big. We have to disspell the lie that our small part is not going to make a difference. We can, each and everyone of us, DO something.
EVERY part makes a difference! Whether small or large... YOUR PART... counts!
Each person had to do their part in the enormous task of rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem... "The work is extensive and spread out, and we are widely separated from each other along the wall." Nehemiah 4:19-20
and because each person DID their part...
"...the wall was completed... this work (that individual people did) had been done with the help of our God." Nehemiah 6:15-16
The question is and will always be... Are we DOING our part? Are you?
I think this thought pattern has given us an excuse to do nothing. I think we decide the issue is too big OR we think that since we can't help everyone, we might as well not help anyone. And then we go to Starbucks.
The truth is that IF we all do a little... THEN a lot gets done. Simply put... Do YOUR part.
We can't worry about what someone else is doing. We can't measure what our part is by someone else's measuring stick. We can't sit on the sidelines and believe that cheering is actually making a difference in the game.
We must DO our part.
Whether it be that we...
Sponsor a child or adopt a child. Buy a t-shirt to help bring an orphan home. Buy note cards to help an adopting family cover expenses. Buy gifts that will feed an orphan. Donate for a water well to be drilled. Give to help earthquake victims.
There are many, many ways that a small part... YOUR PART... added to all the other parts adds up and makes a difference!
We have got to stop thinking that the issue is too big. We have to disspell the lie that our small part is not going to make a difference. We can, each and everyone of us, DO something.
EVERY part makes a difference! Whether small or large... YOUR PART... counts!
Each person had to do their part in the enormous task of rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem... "The work is extensive and spread out, and we are widely separated from each other along the wall." Nehemiah 4:19-20
and because each person DID their part...
"...the wall was completed... this work (that individual people did) had been done with the help of our God." Nehemiah 6:15-16
The question is and will always be... Are we DOING our part? Are you?
Friday, March 5, 2010
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Do NOT stop...
praying!
PLEASE do NOT stop praying for all the families trying to get children home from Ug*nda!
Pray that judges hearts are softened, pray that meetings will ACTUALLY take place and that those meetings will be productive, pray for everyone involved with making a decision regarding the future of guardianship/adoption.
Pray for families in country waiting for Visas, pray for my friend who has been issued a NOID and is now beginning a whole new fight to bring her children home, pray for those of us waiting for court dates, and pray for those at the beginning of the whole process. Pray. Pray. Pray.
God has an awesome plan for the orphans in Ug*nda! He will NOT leave them as orphans... He WILL set them in families.
We MUST press in and PRAY without ceasing!
PLEASE do NOT stop praying for all the families trying to get children home from Ug*nda!
Pray that judges hearts are softened, pray that meetings will ACTUALLY take place and that those meetings will be productive, pray for everyone involved with making a decision regarding the future of guardianship/adoption.
Pray for families in country waiting for Visas, pray for my friend who has been issued a NOID and is now beginning a whole new fight to bring her children home, pray for those of us waiting for court dates, and pray for those at the beginning of the whole process. Pray. Pray. Pray.
God has an awesome plan for the orphans in Ug*nda! He will NOT leave them as orphans... He WILL set them in families.
We MUST press in and PRAY without ceasing!
Monday, March 1, 2010
Hope Renewed
The latest battle concerning Visa issues in Ug*nda has caused me to start believing that it is going to be quite some time before we are able to bring our children home.
I anxiously wait for any word coming from families that are there on the front lines... I pray. I wait. I check blogs. I pray. I wait. I check my inbox. I pray. Well... you get the point. But still... I have doubted that we would be told to come for our children anytime soon.
This morning I received an e-mail from our attorney explaining that the situation is being worked out (which we knew) and that he feels like it "will be clearer" (still vague) by the end of this week. There is no real reason to get excited about this e-mail.
But his next sentence was... "I would like you to come..."
Now, before you get too excited, as I did since my daughter was reading it to me while we drove to school... there was a huge "WHEN" right after that statement.
But... I was so FILLED with HOPE because of those words... "I would like you to come..."
Before she had actually finished reading the sentence and the "when" part (which does not promise a specific time-frame), I was filled with an overwhelming feeling of joy and excitement at the thought of going to get our children. At that moment I realized... I have not been believing it was actually going to happen for us.
I do truly believe that God is working out the situation and that families are going to be bringing children home very soon. But for us... personally... I have harbored doubt.
Today, my hope is renewed. I am praying and believing that it will NOT be awhile... but soon! Very soon!
Jesus said, "If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer." Matthew 21:22
Thank you, Jesus, for the promise of Your Word!
Will you pray with me?! Believing!
I anxiously wait for any word coming from families that are there on the front lines... I pray. I wait. I check blogs. I pray. I wait. I check my inbox. I pray. Well... you get the point. But still... I have doubted that we would be told to come for our children anytime soon.
This morning I received an e-mail from our attorney explaining that the situation is being worked out (which we knew) and that he feels like it "will be clearer" (still vague) by the end of this week. There is no real reason to get excited about this e-mail.
But his next sentence was... "I would like you to come..."
Now, before you get too excited, as I did since my daughter was reading it to me while we drove to school... there was a huge "WHEN" right after that statement.
But... I was so FILLED with HOPE because of those words... "I would like you to come..."
Before she had actually finished reading the sentence and the "when" part (which does not promise a specific time-frame), I was filled with an overwhelming feeling of joy and excitement at the thought of going to get our children. At that moment I realized... I have not been believing it was actually going to happen for us.
I do truly believe that God is working out the situation and that families are going to be bringing children home very soon. But for us... personally... I have harbored doubt.
Today, my hope is renewed. I am praying and believing that it will NOT be awhile... but soon! Very soon!
Jesus said, "If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer." Matthew 21:22
Thank you, Jesus, for the promise of Your Word!
Will you pray with me?! Believing!
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